Down 7...pounds that is.

Yep down from my previous weight. The scale keeps going down, even if it is a little bit it is something in my book. I have had trouble the last two weeks, nothing bad. I was struggling with myself. I thought about how unhappy I was when I weighed 190, so I lost weight. I was surprised how fast it came off and I kept it off. Now I am not happy at this weight so I am trying to loose more. I am afraid that if I lose this weight, how if I not happy again. I struggle with that fact. I asked myself is this going to make me happy right now? Yes. Is it going to make me happy in the end? I don't know. I worry sometimes about that.

Then the other week I was invited to my sister-in-law's sister kids birthday(what a tongue twister). My brother's wife sister's kids birthday. Okay I think it will always be a tongue twister. Anyways, my dad and I went, and we were happy to go. I had fun and enjoyed a break from normal life of the weekends, but I ate a lot. Afterwords when I was home I figure out all the points I had eaten, which got me down and depressed. The next day was Sunday and then Monday was the weigh-in. At that point I was 1.6 pounds away from reaching my 5% target(weight watchers sets up your 5% and 10% target, it keeps you on track and it focuses on the small goals to reach for not the end goal). So Sunday I was tough on myself, eating a lot of free or zero points to fill me up and trying not to eat much of points. I lost weight, but not a lot. Then on Monday after the weigh-in that night I ate over my points, which made me feel worse. I have tried hard this week to get back into the groove. I have worked hard to balance out my over eating on Monday, by being carefully Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I give myself a hard time when I do something I don't like or when I disappoint myself and if I do that it is hard for me to get back on track sometimes. I know for right now I want and need this.

I have small goals for myself that I have set up to keep me on track and for me to be happy. I accomplished one small goal today. I fit in to my jeans. I will explain, with my problem with overeating and weight gain my jeans were tight on my calf's and thighs and I would have a muffin top(not attractive). Today I put on clean jeans that haven't been worn since they have been washed. They fit. I didn't have to stretch them out, I didn't have to tug them up, and I didn't have to suck in to button up my jeans.

Also, another goal I have which I did after my second weigh-in. When I went grocery shopping, I picked up 7 pounds of sugar(a 5 pounder and a 2 pounder). Even though in my head I go ehh, I've only lost 7 so far. When I picked up the 7 pounds I was surprised how heavy it is. I think when I get down in the dumps on how much I have lost I should go to the store and hold it in pounds of sugar to realize in physical form what that weight looks like and what it feels like.

187(first starting weight in 2007) - 156.2(last weeks weigh-in)= 30.8 pounds maybe I should hold all that weight sometime.

*crossing my fingers* to lose 1 pound this to reach 8 pounds and 5% goal :)