welcome to 2005

well...i am packed and ready to leave tomorrow. hmmm! my new year's was spent just chillin in my room and just dazing off to sleep. mostly because i had a work day today and worked very hard with very little sleep. i will also have a adventure tomorrow by trying to get to the hotel from the airport. then the next day i have to get to the airport from the hotel to find the greyhound/lakeline bus to athens...fun fun fun...but i am figuring that i will have restless nights the next couple of days or so. wish me luck on a semi-adventure and congradulating me when i accomplish it. :) well i am going to bed and trying to not panic about forgetting something but hey you always forget something when stressed out...or that is how i see it

bye katie...the last night of being in texas *tear*
nite.

tired

no writing much because i am tired a lot...i like to sleep and work is wearing me out...now think waking up at 4am and working until 530pm...not office work but heavy lifting, sorting, and ups and downs working the thighs and hamstrings, lower back, and arms....well i had a even harder day today because i had to be the muscle power and take systems out of boxes(about 5 or 6 palettes...with 20 systems on them) tiring and then organizing all materials....more uhhhh...ohh well it is 830pm and i am going to bed. nite. and my blogs are going to be more sporatic as this month goes on then i will get in the groove with hopefully daily postings...happy holidays

A workin girl....

so i am working now or going to tomorrow at 530am in the morning...woo-hoo. well i won't be as broke as i am now and that is good. I am working at dell and i don't know what area but it pays money and i also get exercise because the past two weeks i have read books, watch tv out the waaa-zoooo, and i have eaten a lot of food. So i guess i am ready... well, i am going to go work out the rest of my energy so i pass out tonight and actually get up tomorrow. ttyl, bye.

relaxing...

well i am here just relaxing and taken it easy. reading, watching tv, and listening to music. nothing very exciting in my life to gush about. going to go read more and plan dinner, i am thinking about don's cassrole(breaded chicken and cheese sauce, really good). bye

stressin'

well i am home and stressin about a lot of things. mostly about money...i have to get a job and right now i just want to chill and be lazy but i need the money or i will have to work at school. so tomorrow i am going to try and get re-hire papers filled out. other then that i am just pre-occupied with other things on my mind and it is making my head and neck hurts most of the time. well i am going to go and try to relax and just give myself a massage to release my necks from hurting so much. well hope in a day everyone will have a wonderful thanksgiving or just have fun where ever you are. :)

Moo ha ha...

So i am home and my dad wrote about me in his blog so i am going in my...i am home in texas and chillin' here at the computer. nothing to do so i am going to read. i am going to be busy for the next couple days and then hopefully apply to get back in my job soon. i need the money, also i don't eat much so i will lose more weight, and i feel like i am doing something good. well going, as my friends in ohio says, read my smutty book. nothing to say about my parents they are the same old people i left. They are snuggling on the couch and mom is watching football on tv. soon we will be heading to matthews to go see his soccer game and eat FREEBIRDS!!!!!! woo-hoooo....
ttyl, bye.

leavin'

i'm leavin for home in texas....byebye

insomnia...

It is 215am here and i am wired. I don't know why because the last 3 days i been studying for finals whcih i finished today. i have been on a mountain dew, hot chocolate, and coffee binge with some food inbetweem. I also just finish watching love actually and the end at the airport with all the people hugging...i am going to do that in 19 hours. i will arrive in austin at 906pm. this is my plans for today: i am leaving and sitting at a bus stop for an hour, leaving at 1215 and arriving in columbus at 230, flying out at 500 and then stopping in dallas/fort worth and then taking another plane to fly to austin. i am almost ready to go but i have to pick up magizines and go to the ATM and finish getting the room ready and finish packing my bathroom stuff. other then that i am ready and i have my tickets code thing in my back pack.

to justin, i figured out something for my computer and it is working to play my DVDs...thanks for your help, i really don't know what i did. it is called InterActual Player.

bye everyone until i am in austin

i don't want to write anymore

i have 3 days left and i final got to feeling this inbetween period of: i want to go home to texas but i want to stay here but i don't. i also have gotten to the point of hating i mean hating everything about my dorm. also i am thinking of moving to perkins and having a single(but i can't...too much money). nothing wrong with jamie but it is hard to get two people to move in a room. ohh well going to study for my finals on friday.

final today went just fine. ttyl. bye.

Finals are here...

so i have a final tomorrow the 16th of November. then i have 2 on friday. woo-hoo the ones i am worried about are on friday so i need to study study study. byebye.

Tired.... : /

so i ready for school to end i am just plain tired. I am tired of having a roommate, dining hall food, classes, have a noise hall, and other stuff. BUT i figure when i get home give me a week or two to settle in and then i will want to come back here. i guess i will see....be home in 9 days....freebirds here i come. :) well i have to go do some things. bye.

ohhh and to let you know i don't think i will have anymore pictures of halloween.

con't pictures

kim and i(katie)...i think i am saying ahhhh hahaha while the picture was being taken...kim and i really enjoy it....it just brings amusment to both of us.

jamie and i(katie) chillin before we get ready and go uptown

jamie and i(katie) in our costumes in our room

kim, i(katie), and dani(jamie's friend) who came to visit...us chillin in our costumes beofre we go uptown

i think this is all my pictures but check in a few days to see it i added anymore. bye.

Halloween picture.....

if you can't read the names(from left to right): Steph, Urs, Katie(me), Kim

we didn't get a picture all together, so this was the best i can do. we are sexy gangsters.

i will try to add a picture a day if possible but it takes a lot of work to get it on here.

getting ready

i am slowly getting ready for things like: finals that i have one on the 16th and two on the 19th, then i am leaving on the 20th in a greyhound bus then getting to the airport to head home the austin. i am also getting ready for the classes next year. other then that i am just planning on the last week and half i have here in athens, oh.

better now

i am better now from my previous blog. i was having hormonal problems(all women understand), stressed out about major, classes, money, working over winter break, no succeeding in anything and doing nothing in my life. i was also i have had lack of sleep for the pass couple of days and it has made me cranky and just over all not a nice person. i need to get out of college for winter break soon because i am going to break and piss a lot of people off because i can't seem to keep my mouth shut(opinions about my roomie's b/f, for example, sorry jamie). also i would love to travel and get out of america and see the world. i am just ready for change and willing to change what i don't like about myself.
nite.

It is a sad day for AMERICA

I am sadden today because BUSH won. we will live in hell for four more years. he is a mean and puts his christain beliefs on americans....i am pro-choice and with bush already signing a law that if you kill a child in the stomach of a mother then you can be charged with murder. I still want the choice to choose if i can or cannot have a baby, it is my body and not the states or government. Also this was an important year because three supreme court justices are retiring this term and bush gets to appoint them(probably will be conservative republicians). also if there is a gay amendment there is more discrimnation in the world then already needed. people should have the same rights and that is what it says in the declaration of independence:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

DAMN and with my state of all choices....OHIO has to be in the middle to decide.

GOING TO GO AND WATCH BUSH'S SPEECH AND SEE IF I CAN LIKE HIM BUT HIS VOICE MAKES ME SICK AND WANT TO HURT HIM. hopefully he can use some of kerry's points to win back people beliefs in him....because i don't trust him, not one bit.
bye

VOTING!!!!

So this is my first election that i have voted in today. I will have many more then this...so i figured out that if i live to the age of 90 i will vote in presidental election 18 times. so i can change the president who runs this country 18 times. WOW what a responsiblity.

so this is may election story....
I went to bed at 12 midnight and woke up at 600am, brushed teeth, grabbed ID, voter registration card, drivers license and a book to read. I was the first one there in line and about 15 other people were there by the time it opened at 630am. In athens, oh we don't have electronic voting machines, it is the punch card one. i went through and voted for people i liked (*cough* kerry *cough*). i arrived back at my dorm at 7 am and went right to sleep. I woke up at 900am to go the class.

As i know my mother, father, brother justin, brother matthew, and i all voted. this is the first time that we all as a family voted in an election.

We will all see tonight(hopefully) who is the president for the next four years. i am proud to live in texas but i have heared what he did to our state and now to our country and i just don't like bush for his ideas(gay marriage) and policies(draft and no child left behind(doesn't cover enough and children are still left behind like homeless children who can't enter a school without a permanent address and other stuff) and loss of jobs(companies closing and moving overseas to pay less money for workers) and the war(which i know 2 people over in Iraq) and the gap of socioenconmic is getting bigger(richer are getting richer and poorer is getting poorer, and poorer people can't afford to live on minimum wage...don't believe it read "Nickel and Dime") and many more things i don't like.

i know that people have their own opinion but this is mine.

sickness is traveling with me

still sick...oh what fun it is to have.
well a test is fun to take when the world spins, and your head hurts, and eyes are hot and going shaking with goosebumps(cold) to sweaty bullets(hot).

going to bed and trying to heal from this cold. urg i hate being sick and it is HALLOWEEN.

still sick...

well i am feeling better but still have trouble regulating temp. with in my body. Some moments i am sweating and the next shaking and have goose bumps. I still feel weak but my throat doesn't hurt and my nose is running.

other things happening in my life....i have change my room around and will be posting pictures when i get a break.

I have a test tomorrow that i am freaking out about but i am getting up early and studying. i need lots of luck.

I am going to be a sexy gangster for halloween(nothing to revealing) with 3 other friends. so tomorrow i am going to be in curlers and sleep in them...i will have pictures when i get a chance.

other then that there is nothing happening in my life. nite.

green in the face :(

well...i'm sick, not very sick, but sick to make me think really closely to not go to class today. My throat feel dry and scratchy, i get up and feel dizzy or when i am focused on soemthing close and look far away i get dizzy, i also feel weak, and i feel like throwing up but i have 2 feelings to throwing up. one is ijust feel sick and want to throw up but i know i am not going to and second i know i am going to throw up, if and when i drink water. right now i am number one so i am ok until i get to number two...then i will be very unhappy.
also i was thinking when you get sick you just want some security ....like a mom or a dad. so when i am sick(or not sick) i call my parents just to have that comfort. well i am going to go and finish my paper which is almost done and then laying in bed to fall asleep early. bye and nite.

walking on pins and needles

i don't know about anyone else but for me having a roommate is a new experience. this is my second year having a roommate but this year is the same person as the last. For most of the weekends my roommate has not been here and it is peaceful and at ease no pressure. she came back yesterday of again not being here for the weekend and there is tension for some reason. less and less words are communcating between us. i even had the idea of moving into a single for the remaining 2 quarters. unfortunately i can't pay the difference between a double and single. even for 2 quarters by the end of the year it would be 1740.00. i can't afford that unless i recieved a loan from my brother (no worries justin, not going to do it). may be i need space (like the 6 weeks i have off for christmas) but i will see after the break. if i had too, i would get a job and pay my parents the difference if this feeling of...well here is an example, no matter where we walk i am always two steps behind her, though i go to all my classes and do decently i feel second best to her. i just don't like the feeling. i also would get my own area to decorate and rule it my way also i can get out of the god awful room and dorm hall. people here on the fourth floor think i am evil or the "B" word. i am thinking that the girls across the way told everyone because i told them to be quiet because i couldn't get to sleep because they were talking to loud.
not that it is my roomies fault but i was near my end thursday night and slowly got better by the end of the weekend. now when she got back i have this nervous energy and like i have to be on pins and needles. i don't know what i am going to do(including the last 2 quarters and next year). i offered kim my spot to take my place in the apartment but she has thought about it and doesn't want to do it. it may be alright (i have my own room, kitchen to cook, and bathroom that is shard with four people rather then 30). i might be feeling this way because i am stress about picking classes, finding a major, and money. the money issue is the biggest because when i i needed money i would have to go to my mom but now i can get it when i want it and anytime i want it. my family says don't worry about it but i do. well i have to go do tons of homework. bye.

I had a re-awakening

So for believers and non-believers this is what happen to me to start me on the right path of happiness. i went to planet pingwhich is food, games, and other stuff) because one of my friends wanted to do tarot cards, which is sometimes questioned if it is true or not, but this women depicted my life amazingly close to what i am going through. i shuffled cards and then she started talking: you are very introverted and you need to grab the bull by it horns when i problem arises. you smile on the outside but not on the inside and you need to bring the smile further into your soul or center. you are in a stale mate with conflicting paths but you are choosing but are making the choices by your actions but you are not aware of it. also things in your past are holding you back to make a complete circle, but by letting them go i can complete my circle. a new person(though i doubt this one i will see) will enter my life and change it for the good and being significant person in my life. i am emotional about things recently and that is on the surface. i am very stressed and by choosing and "taking the bull by the horns" i will move on and come to a peaceful state.

now i know there is non-believers reading this blog and to say the least i am one of them but after hearing what she said and everything was correct. i was shocked. i was first person she did and my friend steph was with me in the room and she hear it all. early that day i told her what i was going through before we went. she is one of those believers and was like wow when i was done. then she went and hers was different and matched her life completely. lets just say this occasion was life altering and eye-opening, though i am a semi-believer doesn't mean the next time will be as close as this was to what my life has been like. some might relate this as having found God or experiencing miracles or whatever. well i have to go do homework but i just wanted to share this experience.

venting...what a great thing that is

i wrote a post about how the things i have to change in my life. i feel better now instead like last night i was walking home thinking about how i hated everything that i was doing and who i was with(like friends). i was just walking home today from the library and felt at ease about everything i vented two entries ago. not that things are solved but the issues are off my chest and are free to do what they want. i am going to do this more often because my frustrated level rises and i figured out how to release it. thanks for everyone who wrote or talked to me today. it was much aprreciated and well recieved. thanks

my weekend plans

i am going to spend the night alone. no roommate, no boyfriend calling(my roomie's), no friends, just me a book, the library, and a computer. I have lots of homework to do and need to focus. also i don't want to go out with my friends because right now i don't like them enough to give the effort of putting a group together to go out. my plans for tonight and the weekend: read and write a paper on "friday night lights" (the book) due tuesday, write another paper due thursday, study for social work test on friday, read SW book. homework oh what fun i am going to have this weekend.

Changes are going to happen

First I am going to apologize for any confusion...I changed my blog around again. Also I am going to be more open and very honesty about things. I won't hide my feelings because it is wearing me down to hide what I am truly feeling. I read my blog delete most of it so that I am fair to whatever I am writing. Right now I am trying to make change in my life and today was a good day in realizing I was doing things all wrong. I sat here in my room tonight alone like I spend most of my evenings. I mostly thought about things that I did wrong, didn't like, what my futures holds, and who is going to be in my future.

In the past two days I have had a feeling that I won't have a future and that may be because I don't have a major. My brothers didn't have trouble in finding there direction and I am lost beyond belief. I try to find a major but lose interest so easily. I just want a direction and a certainty of something I will enjoy doing and loving doing for awhile.

Then I need to change who I hang out with or when I hang out with my friends. I am not happy with them most of the time but I just shrug it off and go on. The one thing you might be thinking is that why don't I tell them what is bothering me...easier said then done. Here is the scenario: I start talking and telling a story and then I either get interrupted or one of my friends leaves the table and then comes back in the middle of when I am talking. How rude can you be? I am nice to listen to you and may give advice or just enjoy your story but you don't give me the same respect back of listening to me...F@*K you (mom I am sorry for this bad language). It’s like stabbing my heart repeatedly. I already have fears of new people but now I am getting to the point that I don't talk and just give up. Also I am losing interest in having them as friends. Now this just doesn't happen once or twice but few times a day and pretty much everyday. I am tired of being ignored or the lesser half of a person.

If I am letting everything go tonight, then here it goes...let me give background on this thing: I am single and have never dated anyone, though that is depressing I am fine with it and it doesn't bother me because first I need to fix me before I have another person in my life. like all my friends this is the comment they give to me to make me feel better that I haven't dated "THE FIRST ONE YOU DATE YOU WILL MARRY, and BOYS ARE JERKS" ok let me ask you a question, "DID YOU MARRY THE FIRST ONE YOU DATED " probably NOT. So don't give me that bullshit line. I will date in my own time...I don't need the jokes from anyone about being a lesbian, scare, or anything else. I remember the hurtful words and they replay in my head over and over.

Now on to being scared…that is me. I am always scared and have been for most of my life so I am use to it. I can’t just go up to someone and just talk to them. The feelings that go through my body is heart beat rises, can't breathe, shake, sweaty, palms, and feeling like passing out. I am not like everyone who can just talk to anyone. In the pass two day I have been told that I should or have to get over that. Well you know unfortunately I CAN’T….you can’t generalize that everyone is comfortable with talking. I HATE being in front of crowds talking, I HATE being the first to talk, I HATE just talking only when I am angry, my patience is gone, and frustrated.

I am sooo angry and frustrated and lost and just at the end of the rope…I don’t know which way to turn. Like my father I don’t have tons of friends I have about 2 back in Texas and 3 up here in Ohio. 5, yes, 5…I wish I could be friends with more people but people say “doesn’t matter the quantity but the quality”…I have neither in most of them. I might have more venting of what i am going through and doing….the saga continues to strive for honesty and happiness

nothing happening here...

i have been doing the regular of going to class, taking notes, and doing homework. this weekend i hung out with friends, played games with jamie(mostly scrabble and pool). i had a relaxing weekend and now until nov. sth after 530 i will be hecktic(sp).....i have to sign up for classes, do two major papers, two test to study for, plan for going home to texas, and some other stuff that hasn't got on my list yet...HINT i will try to write in my blog but i might get side tracked so don't expect much from me...going to bed. bye. nite.

FINISHED WOO-HOO

here is our finished door....far away and up close...



TA-DA isn't it beautiful.....*awwwww*

here is jamie and i standing in front of door still having paint on us...



well have a safe trip mom and dad....nothing else happenign in my life just studying and sleeping off sleepless nights(dumb freshman).... :/ nite

what i am doing?

it was another beautiful cool day...FALL is here.

we are changing the outside of our door. here is what it is going to kind of look like...i did some altering in the paint shop thingy. the three colors in the bottom right are the different colors that are going to be inside the circles



this is what it looked like in the beginning...it is a light blue



now it looks like this...



now me being me and tiliting the camera...like always, just to trying to get more in the picture




well i am going to bed it is late.....*yawn*.....nite

today is beautiful....

Today is so beautiful. it is cool and semi-windy. i love it...here is a picture of what it looks like out my window:


The one above is sort of side ways out my window here is what it looks like directly out:



and here is me having fun tilting the camera:




well off to do homework.....oh what fun.... :\

what my room looks like???

this is what it looks like when you enter:



then both of our bed...as you noice the hanging keys(go us)...and the messy-ness of out room i apologize but we clean up every friday.



then this is my side of the room...it has my computer, decorated walls, and sort of my messy bed



then finally this is jamie and i together....i hope you can tell which one we are(this picture was taken last year in spring quarter 2004)




hope this makes people happy so they can let me do homework this weekend...eh dad eh...well talk to later all....bye.

who i am and my roommate.

this is me(the one who is writing the blog):
my name is katie



this is my roommate that i am living with(who i lived with last year, this year, and next year)
her name is jamie

changing things around

i wanted to change me blog around because the black was annoying me. it was to dark and depressing me....also the title didn't seem to fit hope to liked the changes.
hey dad or anyone, how do you add pictures to the blog?

bye. nite.


new edit i figured out with help:)


I CAN PUT PICTURE ON MY BLOG!!!! WOO-HOO

slow pace...

well my dad wrote me again telling me to write something because it is the near the end of the month. dad sorry to tell you but nothing much to say.

apartment not closer to getting one maybe at the end of this week or early next week i will find out something

classes going fine but have to stayed ahead of social work because it has royality kicked me in the butt(but nothing to worry about as of right now)

haven't been excercise recently because of feminie(sp?) reason(if you don't know what i mean go ask your mothers) but i have been eating salads and trying to eat a varied food

spent the weekend at kim's in which i didn't get a lot of sleep because i was sleeping on a flip-a-chair(not comfortable...take my word for it)

shoppping for clothes was unsuccessful (which i have a whole bad attitude about...it is a kind of thing you don't want to get me started on...it is like my grandmother and walmart)

well that is it....that is all my updates i can think of...hope this last a little bit...until i get another email from my dad telling me to write because he can't just pick up a phone and call his daughter to say "hi" or "whats up" or "how you doing" or "whats going on in your life"? huh, to think about it....i think that would annoy me because he misses me everyday :) and he would call everyday. love ya dad....talk to whomever later...i really don't think anyone reads this except for my family(brothers, dad and mom, and kristy) bye y'all

what has happened?

So recently i haven't feeling like writing but the stress has increased as the days go by. my mom says relax but i don't know the meaning anymore. i am trying to find my way in the decision of a job i want to do. it is between speech pathologist and something with education like special or counseling education. i don't know yet but i am thinking i will know by the end of this quarter. i think i want to be a speech pathologistbecause i love some science and it kepts my attention a little more then other subject but i get confused a lot. also i think helping kids speak and adults speak will give me great pleasure. it also is changing people and situation which keep my short attention spand more focused. then there is special educaion which is something i know something about. with helping kids with there class work and giving the confidence to find something on there own but supporting them. it is always changing with need students with different problems. the only concern is writing down all information on each child that is overwhelming at times and i am a somewhat forgetful person. then there is counseling which i think i will like because i like listening to peoples problems and trying to fix the problem. i have always listen to my friends and there situations and i think that would be fun. i like to fix things i think it is because of my dad who is an engineer. well hopefully these classes will help and then making an appointment with greg oberlin my advisor.

then on to my apartment i am going to have next year i hope. right now it is a lot of responsiblities and that is freaken me out a little but if we (jamie, kim, and i) do it right we can make it. right now it is a relief just to have our name down on a list and we are the first one on the list. also right now this is what we are having our apartment..we might change to have a balcony but for right now we aren't, then it will be furished, three bedrooms, kitchen, dining area, and a bathroom(just one we could of had more but it costed more). it is just exciting to say that i am going to be in an apartment for next year. hopefully all will work itself out.

then on to classes they are fine but are tough to get threw. i am in social work which is ok but sometimes i am not motivated to go but i go because it is only three times a week and then a social work seminar on tuesday. also i am in HSLS which is communication and communication disorders which is cool but i will see at the end of the quarter. but the teacher has a mississippi accent so it brings me back home. i am also in EDSP which is education for exceptional child. the teacher drives me up the wall but i think it will be a class i learned a lot from. then me one and only easy class thar 235 which i just sew costumes all day. that is pretty much what i do.

then lately i have been exhausted to go and excercise but i was going to ping (our rec) twice a week and swimming twice a week. but recently homework has made me work into the night. hopefully i can get back onto the schedule.

then i have found a way to enjoy dining halls but sometime you just you could eat things eatable. i have been eating salad everyday with more food like a deli sandwich which and i also been drinking two glasses of water at every meal in the dining hall.

also jamie and i have tried to move out of our room because we have freshman across from us which are chatting loudly at night which has royaly pissed me off. and we are sick of sharing a small room and closet. unfortunately we can't move because we like lincoln hall and don't want to move our stuff to a different dorm. so we are going to stick it out for this quarter and maybe we the freshman fail out or transfer schools we can move to the second floor in the same building.

what is happening this weekend that i know of:
shopping for clothes that are desparately needed
sleeping maybe not in this dorm room but kim's
the other one because jamie bofriend is coming this weekend(she did not ask me but i am just willing to be out of the room
balancing check book
not spending money unless necessary(like D.P. dough which i have been craving)
organizing and cleaning
laundry(might do that before the weekend)
doing a book report
starting another book to write a book report
doing homework in SW seminar

there will be more before the week is done


well hope this will cover until monday or so
i have to go do homework and go to sleep before it is to late...sorry for bad spelling and grammar...didn't feel like reading it over again.

not feeling it

some how the virus has spread...my brother justin started it, then my other brother matthew, then me and now my dad again. it is a way to communicate but it take so much time to put your thoughts down. i am not a blog-a-holic but my dad is, no offense. but i am sitting here trying to write a 3 page paper. instead of focusing i am stressed about a whole lot of things. here is my list:

housing for next year
money
major
classes
homework
excercising
being involved in school
and more but i can't remember....

i am just panicked all the time...it is like anixety and tighting in chest. it is a nervous energy. i am trying but just looking at my schedule this year because it scares me everytime i look at it. my parents say there is no reason to stress but i think i have been this way since early in high school except for my senior year when i just wanted to get out of school to go on to bigger and better things. i was reading my brothers blog and how he said that he wrote so much but nothing seem much to share. that is how i feel...i can't handle stress and missing home right now is not good. but i am trying. i also recognize things about me i don't like and i don't know how to change them. ohh well i have to go and do something but i dont know when i am going to write agian but just check back at the end of the month.

classes ohh the love of classes

hi everyone well it is fun going to classes for the first time. i have just finished my second day of classes and today was fun because it was a mansoon(sp?) outside. classes are alright but i might be changing them around in the next few days. hopefully also i will get the guts to my computer so i will be able to write more often then i have been. it should arrive tomorrow. well i am heading to bed i have class at 10 tomorrow to see if i like jamie class better then the one i have. nite. bye y'all.

Where is the move-in people for the move-in crew?

i am exhausted two days ago i moved myself with help of steph, ben, and emily. we all walked up and down stairs bringing my stuff in. 4 flights of stairs. luckily they were very nice in helping me. then later steph and i went to my storage unit and got the rest of the stuff out. we walk up and down until we felt like we were going to pass out. but as we sort-of loaded the room in we were finding bugs not just any kind of bugs but a black widow spider, roach, lady bug and a bigger black spider we believe to be the male of the black widow. so i kept cleaning while steph was on the computer and i sat down next to my book case and saw spiders and had to clean them out because steph has fear of spiders. by the end of the night steph and i were totally grossed out and debating if we should stay the night or not. we did. i hope i don't have anything else in my room.
on another note i only have one closet for jamie and i and that is going to be difficult to share but i talk to someone and maybe we could work out to put in draws and raise the beds higher to store underneath. hopefully it will work everything will work out. as soon as of possible i have to clean up the rest of my stuff so jamie can get all her stuff in today or tomorrow sometime.
also i have a job up here which allowed me to move in a day early and get a small paycheck. i worked yesterday from 12 to 5 and today i am working from 12 to 4 it was 1 to 5 but i am going to try and help kim move in. i am sore in my lower back my shoulders, calves, top of my thighs, biceps, hip muscles, and the muscles leading up to my neck. hopefully i will be stretched out before i start working. i thought i brought a lot my first year but no. a couple of girls brought truck load that filled the bed of the truck. some of the girls who brought a car trunk and one side of the back seat were freaking about that they brought to much stuff, also saying i don't think this will fit. i was like you can fit this in there fine. also i seem to pick out the people who are living on the third and fourth floors. ohhh the hell of that kills me to do that many stairs with a heavy box. by the end of the day i am red faced and sweaty and tired.

well i have to go and clean and then go help more people move into dorms and then help my friend kim and then take a shower and chill until i pass out from exhaustion. bye

long time no write

well as you seen i haven't been writing and i was pointed out by my dad a couple of times but i had nothing important to write about. also i was exhausted from working 12 hour days and stressing about computer issue (the people who had to hear about know what happened). well this is the news so far. i am home or second home or a place i just love to be...ohio university. it is so nice and peaceful and just the way i pictured it from the last way i left it. i love to enjoy the atmosphere and the people are so nice. i miss my family though but i will see them in no time flat. i also finish a month of work that was a great bonus to my account and much needed because i was down to 34 dollars before. i have been writing checks and spendng money out the waz-zoo this and last week but the money is being spent in things that hopefully (knock on wood) will last me a couple of years. i bought parts of my brother computer and i bought a system (the big box that sit on the floor), some foam for my bed and the other things like food. i move in tomorrow between 10 and 12 unfortunately my stuff in the storage unit has to stay there until thursday because i don't have a truck to transport it and my friend who drove me won't have a car (long story). anyways i am walking and enjoying the scenery of athens. it id fall weather and smells like dried leaves...which is a awesome smell (also freshly cut grass smells good too). well i am trying to get things done before i am forced to get of the computer because my time is running out. i am at a library because my grandmother doesn't own a computer. well hopefully i can write more frequently but the next four day i am busy 8 to 5 as of right now. bye

la ti da

so after my last blog i got to thinking. but this is what i did instead: went to washington for a day trip, hanged out with my brother justin and his girlfriend jane, visited around chapel hill, watched movies, ate dinner, and enjoyed to relaxing trip.

now....

i am home about 5 or 7 days i got a call about a.....job. wooo-hooo. yes me as a working woman(as my dad would say). i am working wooo-hooo. i was nervous at first and now i am exhausted and feel like life is sucked out of me....before you say anything, i have some facts to share.....first i work from 5oo AM to 530 PM. yes that is a 12 hour shift. i work friday, saturday, sunday, and mondays is over time. i work really hard on organizing packets of cds, booklets, cords, mouse pads, from return computers from Dell. i work in the heat with fans going that don't get to far down in the eighteen wheelers. with that i feel like i am going to die by it. i have cuts and scraps, my feet hurt and i am really tired. i get paid 9.90 which is more than what i got before i worked which was na-da, nothing, niche, zilch, zero. where i work is called the teardown area at Dell manufacturing company. well i am going to relax because i am working overtime tomorrow. nite y'all

Vacation...though it doesn't feel like vacation

I was thinking that there was a sense that vacation is lost since childhood. they now feel like i have to put effort into them, also plan and pay all the time. now it would be better if it was cheaper and seemingly child like atmosphere. i am not saying that me being on vacation right now is a bad thing, it is really fun to see how my brother justin lives. i am just saying that vacation doesn't seem free'er than it was as a child and all i think about is what i have to drive home on friday or saturday. it will be a long trip... i am right now in chapel hill, NC and live for the summer in austin, TX that is about three or four states i have to drive across.

my trip up here to this state was nice because i started at 8 pm at night. it was quiet and a moments time to think about life and things that are going on and how life is and if i want to change my life in some way. also there wasn't a lot of cars on the road so it gave me space of darkness and me being a lone driver in the universe or great wide open. the nice part was as i was driving there were moments my brother who was sleeping would make a deep breathing noise and then quiet down. it just seemed amusing when i was on about 40 ounces of mountain dew, two donuts, and driving in the dead of night. it gave me a comfort of family and a sense of i belong. as i was heading through texas, of course, then louisana, mississppi, alabama finally finishing after brimingham, AL. by the end of driving it was 8 am and i was exahausted to the end of my finger tips. my whole body was drained of movement. so we went to mcdonalds. as we, my brother matthew and i, sat there i had nothing to say because i was so tired and wasn't function correctly. my brother took over the driving for the next 12 hours in which i sleeped on and off for good lengths of time.

i was thinking i do most of my thinking in the car and that is probably why i love being in the car for long trips.

i don't know why i am in a bummed mood. my brothers are cool and are asking of what i want to do and including me on many thing but i have no desire to do anything right now. i go in these moods a lot but have no idea why i feel this way. or what goes on in my head somethimes or why in these moods i get very quickly irrated with stuff that usually i will blow of my shoulder with no problem.

i know these are scattered thoughs but i have no other thing to do right now except go to sleep or read a book which right now i don't want to do. so i decided to type and just go for what comes up in my head and just type until i just feel like i have nothing else in my brain or i get tired.

right know i am just thinking about what i am going to do before friday-saturday time.

ohhh do you know what really reaks is that i have tried to find a job since i got home to ausitn and i guess i have bad karma. but a job offer came through the day after i arrived on vacation. i think that ruined the time i have because i feel i could be working and earning money but am spending savings and just wasting needed money that i need for college when i start in september. grrrr. it is sooo frustrating thing that if i could do the phone call over that i recieved from my mom to tell me this news is; to not tell me at all. well i can't go back in time.

the plans right now is justin is going to work tomorrow and matthew and i are going to visit him and eat lunch with him. maybe watch a movie at the movie theater and then if matthew doesn't want to go but i am going to drive around chapel hill or carrsboro, NC to see what is here or maybe park and walk around. i like this campus here because it reminds me of my university. i can't wait to ge back and see my friends and have the thing i am use to having. it is a weird transitions you have to face while in college because you are growing to be an adult and be dependent on yourself but during the early part for me i go home on vaction time like christmas (for 6 weeks) and summer (for 3 months). those long periods of time i feel like i am to young to do somethings and not old enough for others. hopefully i will be able to shed some of that as i grow and age a little bit. well i am getting tired and needing to go to bed. maybe i will have some plans tomorrow. nite.

things I forgot to tell...

well I realized that I forgot to tell something that happen in my life...

first on June 24 I became a god mother to LilleeAnn Starr Lawrence who weigh in at 8lbs 2onuces. it took me about 2 weeks to whole her but now I am attached at the hip with her. I feed and hang out with her when I can. her mom is my best friend who I have known for 10 years now. I don't have any pictures I can put up on the computer so everyone can see.
second I am leaving with my brother Matthew to visit my brother justin in north carolina. this is a needed break for Matthew and I to just relax for awhile. we will be gone until the end of the month. hopefully everything will go great and smoothly.
third I haven't found a job yet so I am quite disappointed but what could I have done. I tried all the place I could and I did do interviews but it just didn't happen. but I just received a letter from the university that if I would like I can help move in new freshmen people into the dorms. it pays good for just working three days and for hard labor of moving boxes. then I might have a winter job at godiva (I have six weeks off - I am off from thanksgiving to a little after new years). hopefully they will have a spot for me.
 
I think that is all I forgot to tell people. I won't be writing for a couple of days because I will be on my trip. Bye

*blank*

I don't know what to call this blog but i am sorry i haven't written in awhile. i have tried to find a job, still unsuccessful. there are still some option that i am going to try today: one is temp agency that zach(next door neighbor) went to, and also i got a phone call yesterday night from kristy telling me there is a job fair at randalls and if i go early there is a good chance i will get hired on the stop. hopefully i can tell you all more tonight after this day. other than that i have no plans and just really want to go visit my brother justin in north carolina. hopefully that can happen really soon. but if i get a job it won't happen and/or not as long as i want it. i have to go the temp agency now to wait and wait some more and then fill out an application hopefully they will have something for me. byebye until later tonight or tomorrow.

Interview

i had a great interview though it might not be promising for the summer it is for the winter break i have at school (which is 6 weeks). this interviewer was very nice and made me feel at ease. hopefully i will get something...i still have to go and get more applications because i still have time left to work (only two months) but i need the money for spending things at college.

i have to go mow the lawn, send a card, and clean maybe, and pick up my mom at the airport at 1135pm at night. bye.

Remembering Sept. 11th

My brother Justin and Matthew have written (in there blog) what they will forever remember of september 11th. this is what i will remember:

I was a junior in high school. i got there early and waited in a huge crowd before going to my locker. as we were all stuffed together a old friend of mine comes and says "someone hit the world trade center." i didn't know at the time what the world trade center looked like(even though i lived in the state of new york for nine years). so i went to class wondering what he meant. my math teacher mr.morgan said something about it but went on to do what he normally did which was teach us. the next period was spanish with mrs.vinyard. she explain what had happened though i don't remember it we listen to the radio about what was happening. Close to the end of that period the pricipal mr.nelson came over the intercom and said "no one is allowed off campus for lunch today. (then something something something)" as i walked to my next class it was close to 1130(central time). i walked into my speech class knowing what was happening but then seeing it on television over and over again. i was on the verge of tears. the pain in peoples faces running away in terror, the shock on all our faces and not believing this was happening. it looked like a movie but it replayed and that second plane turning directly into the building knowing that was its destination was a horror. the plane with so much force smashed through the other side of the building. the flames and smoke riseing forever. the next memory i have is the crashing of the buildings. man, that was hard to take in. the dust that lay for miles around, the smoke, people screaming, the massive pile of the building, firefighters raising that flag, picture of people that are lost that covers walls and walls. though i was in texas i felt the horror just like the rest of my classmates and even the world.

now i fear for a new friend of mine...harley(my best friend, kendra's husband)
after seeing the movie 'Fahrenheit 9/11' i see the horror he goes through as a solider. he now is a father of a 6 day old and he leaves again july 9 or so for another six months. the pictures of soliders dead on the ground, wounded, and burned and beaten. worries me that he won't come back after the six months. also president bush may continue to keep soliders in for 1 or 2 more. more people are dying for what cause, what is the reason we are over there for. if we are hated so much why do we put more men and women over there.

i am proud to be a texan. though i don't want bush back in the state nor do i want him to be the president. he has done some shady things, never answered the peoples questions, wanting to strict equal opportunities for gays...geezs...bush has got to go in november election, i will take anything other than bush. i rather take bugs bunny or porky pig for goodness sake. people need to vote and let their voices be heard loud and clear. sign-up now before it is to late. don't think you won't be heard because you are just one person it can make or break a election. VOTE at http://www.mtv.com/chooseorlose/pre_lection/

Jobs applied to...

1wendy's no interview
2charlotte Russe no interview
3godiva interview tomorrow
4limited too no interview
5rave girl no interview
6gadzoks no interview
7forever 21 no interview
8salvation army no interview
9el tias no interview
10cici's pizza turn in today
11daycare near hospital turn in today but other people have more experience
12walgreens(online)turn in today
13baby A's interviewed no experience declined
14taco bell no interview
15pizza hut turn in today
16discount cinema turn in today
17johnny carinos no interview
18thrift store near mom's work interviewed but never called
19subway(online) turn in today
20dillards(online) turn in today
21foleys(online) turn in today
22office depot(online) turn in today
23best buy(online) turn in today
24HEB(grocery store) turn in today

i have to turn in micheals, and beadz, walmart, jcpennys... and anymore i can pick up.

p.s. ok not 50 but it feels like fifty, i might get up there if no one will take a chance on me.

Summer Dream

I am stuck in the summer funk. I love school and the freedom i have their. i also talk to friends who hate their jobs. i say to them i wish i had a job. i have been doing application and writing my name and address about 50 times. if i don't know my name and address by now i must be slow. i have worked on finding a job and with my parents behind me telling me "go find a job." it is not needed because i know i need one or i will be in a bind when i get back to school. i am a hard worker and get things done, i don't give up, and push throw things when it is hard. all these employers say to me is "do you have experience?" i say "no, but ...(depending what it is i add something there)" they look like ohhh, she not going to work, "X" her off the list. then they say "well we hire people with more experience" i'm like "okay well i understand." i leave there disappionted in myself, that i didn't say that thing or this thing, and on the verge of tears. i am tired and how the BLANK (starts with "F")am i going to get a BLANKing job when NO ONE WILL GIVE ME A CHANCE. GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....beep, beep, beep. okay i am alright i just want someone to give me a job, anything. i have a interview tomorrow that hopefully i will do well on. i don't think i have been this depressed in years. i sit on the stairs, lay in bed, and don't move very often thinking about things. for example, not wanting to get up, not moving, leaving(somewhere not on the earth) but then i think about how much pain that would cause and how afraid i am of not waking up in the morning and making people scared so instead i just cry.

Congradulations to my best friend(she is a mommy now). i am the god-mother or Aunt katie. LilleeAnn Starr was born on June 24 at 10:17 by a c-section weighing in at 8lbs 2ounces. She is a beautiful, healthy, ten fingered, and ten toed baby.

well i have to go and do something.