walking on pins and needles

i don't know about anyone else but for me having a roommate is a new experience. this is my second year having a roommate but this year is the same person as the last. For most of the weekends my roommate has not been here and it is peaceful and at ease no pressure. she came back yesterday of again not being here for the weekend and there is tension for some reason. less and less words are communcating between us. i even had the idea of moving into a single for the remaining 2 quarters. unfortunately i can't pay the difference between a double and single. even for 2 quarters by the end of the year it would be 1740.00. i can't afford that unless i recieved a loan from my brother (no worries justin, not going to do it). may be i need space (like the 6 weeks i have off for christmas) but i will see after the break. if i had too, i would get a job and pay my parents the difference if this feeling of...well here is an example, no matter where we walk i am always two steps behind her, though i go to all my classes and do decently i feel second best to her. i just don't like the feeling. i also would get my own area to decorate and rule it my way also i can get out of the god awful room and dorm hall. people here on the fourth floor think i am evil or the "B" word. i am thinking that the girls across the way told everyone because i told them to be quiet because i couldn't get to sleep because they were talking to loud.
not that it is my roomies fault but i was near my end thursday night and slowly got better by the end of the weekend. now when she got back i have this nervous energy and like i have to be on pins and needles. i don't know what i am going to do(including the last 2 quarters and next year). i offered kim my spot to take my place in the apartment but she has thought about it and doesn't want to do it. it may be alright (i have my own room, kitchen to cook, and bathroom that is shard with four people rather then 30). i might be feeling this way because i am stress about picking classes, finding a major, and money. the money issue is the biggest because when i i needed money i would have to go to my mom but now i can get it when i want it and anytime i want it. my family says don't worry about it but i do. well i have to go do tons of homework. bye.