I know, I blog about my weight a lot...but

I was bored and thought, why don't I look back at all my photos and see how my weight loss has changed. I started with the beginning of college years, but my weight has been a problem since I hit puberty at age 12 or 13.

The first picture was freshman year Halloween, I hadn't gotten my make-up and hair done. I went as an electrocuted doctor. I didn't like how I looked, but I dealt with it. I picked this costume because it was something that would fit me, it was comfortable, and I hadn't figured out at the time, but I guess Halloween for older people isn't about crazy or scary it is more about being sexy. I didn't feel sexy at that moment.

The second picture is a year later during Halloween, 2004/5. Yes, I actually went out in that and No, I didn't smoke the cigar. It was real, but was never lite. I tried to be more sexy, but not slutty. At this point in my life I was big into drinking on the weekends. I never went to parties, but I liked to drink with my friends even though I wasn't 21 at the time. By the end of the year, I still drank, but I wasn't so much into it anymore. I figured there was more to life than that.

The third picture was taken in 2006 when Kim visited me in Texas. I remember trying to figure out things to do. I played a trip to schlitterbahn (a water park) and then we did a spur of the moment trip to Corpus Christi on the coast. I remember trying to find something I would be comfortable in while at the water park and then the beach. I didn't want my picture taken all that much. I would even try to open my mouth a little and put my tongue at the top of my mouth so I wouldn't have a double chin. I would turn to the side so I wouldn't be as wide in the picture as I was. The tricks I did long before this picture was taken and after it.



The next three picture are below. The fourth picture or first in this set was taken in 2007, 2 to 3 weeks before I started weight watchers. I had finally come to the end of my rope with my weight. I needed a change. I couldn't run backwards up the slide with my niece (best friend's daughter). I couldn't fit into any clothes (I was a size 16/18). I couldn't sleep well at night (I had problems with my hips). Overall I was tired of being tired with myself and how I looked. So I decided to change and only I could do that for me.

The next one was taken in 2008. I remember and still do this to the day. I look back at old photos and I wonder how I could have lived that way. It is easy to gain the weight, it is harder to figure out why you did gain the weight. I figure out some of why I gained, but it is personal. I still have much more work to do at this point. I haven't figured out that I am not that 190 person anymore. The body image in my head is so different from what I see in the mirror. At this point, I was a size (12/14). I stayed at this weight for about a year to a year and a half.

Then is the most recent photo of me that I have, it was of course taken in 2009. I decided I wasn't happy anymore at the weight I was in for about a year to year and a half. So I went back on weight watchers(not to the meetings, just on my own). I lost the weight, but then I gained it back. I finally admitted to my self that I need the meeting and the support system. Also, be accountable for every week weighing in during the good, bad, and ugly times.



I have struggle with food during emotional times, times of gathering with family, stress, boredom. I don't have the button in my head that says, 'That's enough, your full.' I only have that when I am stuffed. I am fully committed to this until the 3rd week in February (my half marathon is February 14th---there is also one on January 24th too). I am hoping for a few more pounds. I have a goal and I am hoping I can get myself back on track and kick butt. I did this past week after the Thanksgiving holiday/ funeral/ eating out binge morning, noon, and night.

I am still training for my running class. I have had some set backs with the side of my hip hurting and pain in my knee cap. My hip isn't bothering me anymore, but this knee thing is a killer. I am on the mend, but taking it easy. I am hopeful to run/walk 10 miles on Saturday, but I am not going to push it. I don't want any of my injuries to be chronic.

I apologize for another blog about my weight, but I like to see how far I have come. It makes me want to keep doing what I am doing. I don't want to go back to being that girl. I wasn't happy and I am trying to be happy now in this moment. I want to keep being who I am and improving myself either with the weight or with other stuff in my life.

p.s. Also changed my background again, the black was to overwhelming. Enjoy.